I said goodbye

I said goodbye to you today. I went through old photos. Old boyfriends. Old friends. Old places. I threw most of them out. I piled all of my things in the living room in front of the fire place. I should apologize for spending most of our last day together watching tv, but I've never been good at goodbyes. My old room? Haven't slept there in forever. So I spent my last night in the guest room - I've been a guest in that room for a while. We used to have parties. We used to swim, run, lay out, and play. It's been a while since we did all of those things. But I'll miss my house.

I said goodbye to you today. You weren't there. I came to the place I last saw you and the last place you would rest. I sat at your feet and rubbed my hand across your name. My name. I listened. It is so quiet here! You've got a nice place to stay, I guess. The only sound heard is the breeze blowing through the flowers left here, the memorials. Flags fluttered. Birds chirped. And I could hear the echo of your voice. I could hear the echo of my tears. I asked if you were proud of me. You didn't answer. I told you that I just wanted to be like you. I told you what I was thinking of doing and that I didn't know what I was thinking of doing. I told you I was going to take a trip like you. I was going to lead like you. I thanked you for the things we could not talk about when I last saw you. I wish I could remember our last conversation, but I'll remember this one for a while. I'll miss you because you're gone but I'll miss you because I'll be gone, too.