Up Early.

I woke up early today (5:30am) and could absolutely not go back to sleep. I lay in bed for a while, watching tv on my computer. I wasn't getting any sleepier and I realized I could get up and go running. I haven't been running since the marathon.

So I got up and put on some warm clothes and went out and ran 4 miles! Yeah! It was so nice to be up and outside and I felt so alive. It was cold and some spots were icy and scary, but I had so much fun running around.

Yesterday I was worried about losing my job. Then God said to me, "Don't be anxious about anything." So I said okay.

Wintery Mix

Winter is so quiet. After the cacophony of spring and summer, insects, children, animals, games, an unnerving kind of silence settles in. The oppressive heat is long gone and the sky opens up with a kind of clarity you don't see in any other months. The earth came between the sun's light and the moon just above the manhattan skyline.



What I'm saying is winter doesn't settle on you. You settle in it. Everyone looked so smart in their fall coats, now we all look like sand people in our puffy jackets, faces hidden from each other (or the wind).



You can take the weather for what it is or you can look at it through many lenses. I hear many people using the lens of doing battle with the elements. Me vs. the ice, snow, rain, wind. In a battle someone has to lose. I'm looking at this weather with the lens of a child. Let's play! No one loses! Everyone wins!



I ran up and down my street, spinning, sinking, in the snow. Everything was wet - my hat, my boots, my legs, my gloves. But I was just so happy. I had to give the snow one final hug. We're going to have a great winter together.

"When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting material possessions to complete you, you'd be surprised how much pleasure you get out of material possessions. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you'd be surprised how much you like spending time with God. "

Decorating

Today while my clothes were down the street in the wash, I made these things for my wall and hung them up.





They are pieces of fabric I had put on canvasses I bought at an art store. I like them a lot!

Off on Saturday

Here we are. Another Saturday and I'm off work. I'm working on a post about the marathon, and it's almost been a month since I ran the streets of New York City. It's hard to put it all into words though. But I think I'll just swallow it soon and say what I need to say. It's 34 outside and I'm layering up for a day outside. I want to get some things for my apartment. And some things for me.

I just don't know what to write anymore. I'm getting by. I'm making plans for every day (or trying to at least) and trying to look forward to different things. Looking forward. I keep looking back instead though!

The past has passed. Goodbye.

At last!

This was written last week:

Moved in to the new apt today. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor since my bed frame is in pieces everywhere. More to come soon!!










Oh and fall!

This taken right outside the train station on my way to work in the morning. I can't help myself from noticing and commenting on every tree that is not green!

Falling.

There's something about the first 53 degree weather day that makes you think about fall (and inevitably, winter). Being outside today makes me think that I have some idea of what the coming months will bring. Just replace the rain with snow, drop the temperature 30 degrees and throw a huge coat on me - voila! Winter! I can't resist the urge to stay in bed reading a book until 2:30 pm. Especially when the gusts and sprinkles finally drive me to shut the window all the way and snuggle up in a blanket. I haven't seen the sun today. It could be 10am or 6pm outside. I did manage to pry myself out of bed, however, and went on a run in central park - something that might not happen come winter (and the end of marathon training). I might not like running anymore, but I do enjoy taking a long, warm shower after a cool run.

Central Park makes me want to be in the wilderness. The actual wilderness, not the man-made serenity the 843 acres of park afford me in my retreat from the concrete jungle of the city. I still hear sirens. I still get impossibly lost - something which should be impossible given that you can pretty much always see the buildings of downtown in the distance. Winding pathways and bridle paths and bike paths and car paths make it impossible to move in a straight line and the shortest way to get out is often the way you came. This tree looks like that other tree except that one over there who's leaves are changing.

Ah. Fall.

The City

This should go without saying. Especially in light of the timeframe between now and my (not so) recent posts.

Life in New York moves quickly.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about why. When you feel like you blink and your entire day is over, it's hard not to panic and start to lose your mind. There are a lot of crazy people here.

But when I want to go somewhere, it is not up to me the timing of my arrival. It is also not up to me if I will be sitting for the journey and in what condition I will arrive (wet, dry, sweaty, covered in water sprayed on me from a truck hitting a puddle, etc). Here's an example: today I was late to work because I missed my train because I needed to get a new MetroCard and was stuck behind someone else in line who needed a card but also needed help buying her own card so I had to walk her through the various screens. She makes it on the next train. I miss mine because I type in my zipcode for my card wrong. I have to start over, the train whizzes by the station. I lean against the wall and eat my donut/coffee - which I totally had time to get, by the way.

The city dictates the pace your life goes in. If the trains are running slow, the trains are running slow and there's nothing you can do about it. You can run and push people and mutter under your breath as you dodge across the street, nearly being hit by a car, but you're not going to get there any faster.

There is also no going-directly-to-a-certain-place here. Back home, I would get in my car, drive somewhere, park and be there. Here I have to walk to a station, down stairs, ride in a car, up stairs, and walk. It's indirect. The city may be grid-like in its design but there are no straight lines.

It is this exact indirectness that makes life move quickly. Before you know it you spent all day getting somewhere, or being somewhere. In transit you cannot plan to meet up with anyone. Everything is on a lengthened timeframe. And that makes life go by quickly.

Now it's got to be my new focus just to move with the city. Sway with the car. Walk in the direction of traffic flow. Figure out what it means to have things moving so quickly, now that I can understand the reason (because people always told me life was fast here - but what does that mean?) I can try to make my life work around it.

And not get caught up in the rush.

I missed you today.

Sunday at the beach!

Yesterday, Abby and I took a bike ride to Rockaway beach - or really a more deserted beach near Rockaway. We rode bikes about 12 miles to the beach and back. Halfway there I got dizzy and saw spots in my vision because I hadn't eaten anything. 12 miles is farther than I thought!!


Here is the beach with it's rocks and sea gulls - very un-gulf like. Also it was freezing. How Atlantic.













Only a few more weeks of summertime weather before I need new shoes, old clothes, and some sort of fall jacket. They're very in to fall here.